The Mono

Normally I wouldn't go and read a blog about weight loss. My own fitness level is something that I've been taking control of, and I'm still a little emotionally shaky about body-image, so reading about other people worrying about what they eat and how much they exercise is not a great idea at the moment.

I've made an exception for this one, because when you boil it down, it's not about weight loss -- it's about taking control of your life and building self-respect. And the author manages to say all sorts of things that I've never managed to really articulate, no matter how clever I am with words.

The introduction. If you're skimming, go down to "How I was ahead of Dr. Phil", and absolutely read "The inevitable extended and tortured metaphor".

This is what I needed to hear. Not for weight loss or physical health issues, but for the ingrained habits which are ruining my life in other ways. It's all mental, whether it's about weight or relationships or school or whatever. It doesn't matter what the topic is -- when you've spent your whole life thinking one way, the struggle to change your mental landscape is still going to be that same tug-of-war. It's just a matter of identifying the guy on the other end.

The rest of the blog has been the same way (I've read all but a couple of the early entries); I started with "Horrible Pieces of Advice Provided By Fools". There's a lot of misguided "advice" out there, and she's a very strong-minded woman who won't stand for that crap.

I need to write her a note of appreciation and maybe find out how she's doing these days.

96.8kg.

( Commentary )

I am very lucky to be surrounded by the friends I have. I am thoroughly enjoying my increasingly drama-free zone. I'm spending more time with people who simply make me feel good, without effort on either of our parts, and with whom I can relax and be totally comfortable.

Things are good on a lot of fronts right now.

I'm learning a lot of things every day, and that's not counting what I'm learning in school. Movement is happening, and as far as I can tell it's all in good directions.

I think I'm turning into even more of the sort of person I'd like to know. This pleases me.

I've figured out another way to eat artichokes.

( Recipe for marinated fresh artichokes )

In a semi-related vein, I find myself thinking from time to time, "I hope this works." It's getting easier to do crunches and arches, and my calves will soon adjust to walking a half-mile to school in birks (and back again)... and I've been trying to be more careful about eating enough but not too much, with less junk food and more veggies. I'm trying not to obsess about it, and these changes certainly won't do any harm -- but I really do hope I'll get some significant results out of it.

I guess it's the influence of my other fitness-minded friends on LJ posting about what they're doing. Curse you, fitness-minded friends. ;)

On the other hand -- boy, am I glad I don't have to calculate how many points/calories are in my lunch. :) That could really make me obsess, and not in a good way. Too close to OC behavior for me...

I looked in the mirror yesterday morning and was trying to figure out what was different when one of cadhla's posts rang in my head: she had rediscovered her collarbones. Sure enough, I've lost mine.

Okay, that means that not all the weight has been muscle (that is, oddly, a bit of a relief). Time to do something about that, and maybe I can tone up a bit too. ( So I'm jumping on the fitness bandwagon with everyone else. )

So that's my plan... I'll be posting at least occasionally to LJ to keep myself honest. We'll see whether I can take a little of the padding off and increase my stamina -- I've been noticing that I get tired faster than I used to.

I went shopping today. I hate clothes shopping, usually, and I only go for what I know I need... ( today it was jeans, and bras. )

The time is coming when I will need to find someone to shop with, to take the edge off the annoyance factor... I will want to get something other than just jeans and white shirts before Midsummer or so, I'd guess. eyeofcanaan? What do you think?

I spent an hour and a half in the bathroom today doing various things to my hair. It's now freshly braided and shorn, among other things. It also seems to have picked up a reddish tinge again.

A few repairs to another dress, and I should be set for next weekend.

Anyone else going to Gaskell's?

Absolutely one of the things that must be read.

Fatima Mernissi and the Size 6 Harem

( Read it before you read my comments )