The Mono

I would blow up balloons to see how big they would blow up to.

I need to see whether I can get a copy of Dylan Thomas reading "A Child's Christmas In Wales" in digital audio. We just watched the video again, for the umpteenth year, and even though I'm able to recite parts of it right alongside the actors by now, I still enjoy it.

And books that told me everything about the wasp... except why.



Happy Christmas, everyone.

I have no desire to summarize 2005. It was a very difficult and stressful year, and while adversity builds character, I have enough characters for the next fifty games. I'd like a break, please.

It is, however, done. I passed its last moments listening to knaveofhearts tell "So there was this girl" stories with my brother foogod and the Weasel, after eyeofcanaan had departed for work. We had a quiet little gathering, toasted the new year with my mom, and finished watching "Time Bandits".

Today is the end of the winter holiday and the period of grace, and tomorrow begins the Season of Growth. I have a good load of personal goals to implement, and some large changes to plan for. By fall I plan to be attending Davis, picking up my lost dream of going to university again. There's the more immediate juggling act of how to keep school from taking over everything, so that I can put together a moderate veggie garden to help me stay sane.

November marks the midterm elections. It's too early for me to have a lot of hope, but there is potential there.

In August I turn 30. I've never been really hung up on the whole "30 OMG I'm old" thing, but it is a round number. I wonder how I'm going to feel about it.

There's the feeling that a lot of large pieces have been rearranged, and might be in position to start coming together, finally. I might actually get the hang of all this yet, if the orbital crisis bombardment will let up for a while. A lack of earth-shattering surprises, that's my request for the year.

...or something will, anyway.

I threw on ratty clothes quickly today so that I could assist my dad in climbing onto the roof to examine the chimney to the living-room fireplace. Then I cleaned out the fireplace itself and climbed in, in an attempt to pull some of the dead leaves off the ledge of the baffle. I didn't manage that, but I did brush a lot of soot off the top and back of the fireplace. (I wore a mask; no dying of Black Lung Disease for me.)

The upshot is that it all seems to be in fine shape. The ceramic liner is uncracked and firmly mortared; the brick portion below the liner is solid; there's no appreciable soot buildup in the chimney; the fireplace itself is fine, and the baffle looks good from top and bottom. Some of the outside mortar has crumbled a little, and needs to be replaced for the sake of the bricks, but it's not a structural issue. It's solidly built, and weathered Loma Prieta quite well.

I scrubbed the screen, so that will hopefully be okay. We can start up a fire in it this evening to give it a test -- I'm sure there will be a terrific smell of hot dust as the exchanger warms up, but there's no way to clean those vents without demolishing a little bit of the arch to the dining room, since it was plastered so close to the vent grates on one side.

The living room looks wonderful with all that space, lit up by several lamps and the glitter of the tree. The family-room fireplace has the greens along the mantel, and a couple of stockings, and I hung some christmas lights along the windows... that kind of makes up for having the tree in the living room this year. I've always missed having the tree in here, though.

It looks like it's going to be a wonderful holiday.

Every time I do this, I realize that mail-order deadlines are tighter than I think they are. My apologies... I never require that a gift be on time, just as I don't require that one be given at all.

My gift list is now up... Read the disclaimer, please. I include it for a reason.

As ceolyn said, some may consider it tacky to have a list of suggested gifts, but I think it's worse to get the look of "oh, wow, they gave me a gift and I have no idea what I would do with it even if I liked it, but I need to try to thank them sincerely anyway". If you were thinking about getting me something, consult the list and email my mom to coordinate. If you weren't going to get me something, ignore this post. Simple, painless, confidential, and everyone's happy. Non?

My budget is tighter than it has been in recent years, to the point where I'll be trying to find something for under $20 for the weasel and may rely on my mom for gifts for the rest of the family. I have a few little things in mind for some friends, but my sheer mass of credit-card debt precludes giving anything not made by my own hands for almost free. I'll be happy to spend time with people, though (ecstatic, even -- school made sure I haven't seen anyone as much as I want to).

Three and a half weeks of school to go. I'll see you on the other side...

My birthday list is up. Please read the disclaimer...

I have to attend a wedding on August 21st, so I'm looking at the 20th for a gathering. I'm usually pretty lousy at deciding on what to do for a party, so I am most definitely open to suggestions. Movie? Barbecue? All pile into the hot tub? It can't be too expensive, but I'm up for the cost of a movie and maybe dinner. What movies are due for that weekend?

I can't do a nifty poll or anything, so you'll have to go through the effort of commenting instead of doing the clicky boxes. Oh, the angst. :)

Well. I'm feeling better both physically and emotionally, and I'm ready to start on another year.

My calendar is odd. ( I'll walk you through it... )

So I am now standing at the birth of another year, looking at the tiny pinpricks of the personal seeds I have sown, and ready to leave the dead year behind and concentrate on new life and new possibilities.

I don't make formal resolutions, at least not at New Year's -- I've never seen the point of waiting until a certain date to implement a change, particularly some of the radical ones that people seem to set their hopes on. My changes for the year are mild, mainly to do more personal reflection and mental housecleaning. I also need to shovel out my current dwelling, which is more part of a "to do" list than a resolution. And I need to get employment more than ever, which is more hope and a continuation of effort than anything else.

Here's hoping this year is better than the last.

Actually, that quote isn't quite accurate... I remember this year all too well.

( I'll be happy to see the end of this year. )

Here is is, the day at the start of The Holidays -- that five-week period of craziness at the end of the year. There is a period of meditation slated for Thanksgiving, almost like a religious holiday of sorts, to reflect and give thanks before embarking on the madcap consumerism of the next four weeks.

( So what am I thankful for? )

I start work tomorrow. I'll be doing the late shift from 1-9pm; I don't envy James, who agreed to take the morning and set out traffic cones at 5am. The mall may not open until 9, but that didn't stop Macy's, Penny's, and the Disney Store. Thank God everything opens at a sane hour from Saturday on.

I've been describing my job as "dodging cars for money". Someone said that actually made it sound exciting. I'll try to remember that when I'm on my sixth hour of standing in the same intersection, trying to remember that the person attempting to cut across traffic was not the same driver who tried to pull that trick twenty minutes ago, even though after a few hours all the cars look the same.