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Sep. 17th, 2016

tea

Reality as it currently is

Long update, mostly health-relatedCollapse )

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Aug. 19th, 2016

cougar

Ouch, right in the childhood

The trouble with getting involved in social justice is that you start to learn the scripts that people use.

Self-development and its impact on relationshipsCollapse )

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Aug. 13th, 2016

cougar

Ups and downs

So yesterday was a good-bad kind of day. Lots of amplitude.

The good, the bad, and the iunnoCollapse )

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Aug. 7th, 2016

wilson

Sexuality, identity, and personality in play

I went to a play party last night.

Vague sexual references, identity stuff, and general musingsCollapse )

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Jul. 20th, 2016

wilson

Up and running

Okay, a general health update.

Mostly goodCollapse )

I have an account as Torquill on Dreamwidth, and that's where I posted this. You can sign in with OpenID to comment on the original post, or you can go ahead and comment here; either way works.
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Jul. 14th, 2016

cougar

Yatta!

This was the kind of day I keep wanting to have. I pretty much Did All The Things. My to-do list isn't comprehensive, but I:

- Fed myself three times (yay)
- Took all necessary meds
- Hard-boiled some eggs
- Took out the trash in the living room and bedroom
- Deposited a couple of checks
- Wrote a check for my Master Gardener dues
- Mailed it
- Sent out a reminder about the next MG workshop (on time!)
- Answered an email from East Bay Burners
- Called Social Security and spent an hour on hold
- Called Broadway Terrace Nursery to thank them
- Called UC Santa Cruz to update my alumnus info
- Watered the plants in the front yard
- Picked some nectarines (I need to clear the tree tomorrow)
- Dropped some at the horse-owner's house
- Got a bag of alfalfa pellets from the feed store
- Got a replacement bathroom light switch
- Cut a piece of gutter and put ends on it
- Set the maple pieces to soak in the gutter-tray
- Installed MS Office on my VM
- Installed Crescendo
- Installed SketchUp
- Filled out a LARP application
- Fixed up my bike
- Made a DIY phone mount for the bike
- Installed Pokemon Go and got it set up
- Went out on the bike for 15 minutes (oh my thighs)

I still want to do a few minutes of voice work, but I think I can rest for the remainder of the evening and feel virtuous.

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tea

One small step forward

How is it that simply calling the Social Security Administration to make an appointment is enough to make me feel like crap?

Don't answer that. I know the reason... I still haven't expunged the creeping feeling that by applying for permanent disability I'm giving up and admitting failure. It doesn't matter that asking me to work a 40-hour week is equivalent to asking a paraplegic to dance a waltz -- the conditioning I've had my whole life, around work ethics and capabilities and what makes a person worthwhile, is all acting like a horrible swamp full of trash that sucks at my self esteem.

I deserve to be able to live without trading my health for money. The fact that I'm reliant on others is not through any fault of mine, and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Most people don't have a full-time job of just keeping their bodies going.

I'll keep saying these things to myself, and maybe I won't be a complete wreck by the time my appointment comes around. If I am, well, my therapy appointment is that afternoon. We'll see on August 2.

I have an account as Torquill on Dreamwidth, and that's where I posted this. You can sign in with OpenID to comment on the original post, or you can go ahead and comment here; either way works.

Jul. 6th, 2016

tea

Kryptonite

I thought I was past this.

Finding that not all the land mines have been defusedCollapse )

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Jul. 4th, 2016

cougar

Sonnet: The Knave

I can't usually write sonnets. Perhaps it's because I just pulled an all-nighter.

Read more...Collapse )

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Jul. 3rd, 2016

tea

Win some, lose a lot

Dreams full of sorrow and strife. Sigh.

Love and lossCollapse )

Shutting down a racistCollapse )

I have an account as Torquill on Dreamwidth, and that's where I posted this. You can sign in with OpenID to comment on the original post, or you can go ahead and comment here; either way works.
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